“The power of a woman in her weakness”: how men relate to this statement

This replica from Shakespeare’s comedy “The Taming of the Watch” for many years remained an unspoken key to building a successful relationship and a symbol of patriarchal values. We asked men what it means for them today. We publish the most common answers and commentary on a psychologist.

Opinions of men

“Yes, I agree with this phrase. I am afraid of women who carry their strength like armor. It seems to me that this is their protective reaction, says Pavel (35 years old). – They spend all their energy on proof of who is more significant and more successful. I have a question: why then I? I want to take care of my woman, provide her with signs of attention, it gives me the joy of feeling like a man.

At the same time, I notice how the female position is as strong as you are, and I will prove it to you – some men are convenient. They use this in order to ride at the expense of a woman, put her ego. “Yes, you can do everything, you can do everything, dear. So go and do it for me also “. And when women later wonder that the “partners” sit on their neck, they forget that they themselves offered this game: I will do everything no worse than you, but even better ”.

“Strength in weakness? It sounds somewhat strange today, says Vadim (25 years old). – Maybe previous generations of women and lived according to this installation, but it seems humiliating to me. It’s good that a woman is not afraid to be strong and confident. This means that she knows her price. It is with such interesting things to build relationships “.

“The expression“ Strength of a woman is in her weakness ”only says that women have more diplomacy and flexibility,” says Cyril (31 years old). – They do not go as often ahead as men. It is important for men to keep an ear in order not to lose. Women know how to just pretend that they are on your side and are ready for compromise. But then they achieve their own due to charm and female techniques, which are difficult to resist. In this sense, the weakness of the woman is pure water and manipulation, and the element of the game “.

“I am against this installation, it has become a form of manipulating men for women,” says Nadar (28 years). – Come and certainly for me everything is decided. I will not do anything, only enjoy life, and I address all the difficulties to you. The position of equality is much closer to me when we divide the responsibility equally. Nobody plays the weak.

If you’re tired, I’ll put my shoulder. If it became difficult for me, the woman will be nearby. In this sense, what the feminists are talking about, helps not only women to find their rights, but also allows men to relax. And build your life without looking back, which should endlessly with its weak half “.

“The woman’s power is that she can afford weakness if a worthy man is nearby nearby. Therefore, in many ways her strength is precisely in a man, ”says Alexei (39 years old),“ a man who at a difficult moment takes responsibility for himself, and the woman trusts him. It’s great if, thanks to her qualities, she managed to attract and choose a partner who allows her to be weak. This does not mean that it turns out to be a wordless slave that does not have its own voice – in the modern world it is impossible ”

“There is nothing more sexy than a woman who does not play weakly helplessness, but knows well what she wants from life, sets goals and goes to them,” says Matvey (39 years old). – Why hide it and pretend to be weak? This is not about competing in a relationship, but I would like to have a one near that that motivates me to develop and not stand still. Such a woman knows herself well and what she wants from life “.

“A wonderful phrase that has not just become popular wisdom. And it is a pity that not all women follow this, ”says Vasily (44 years old). – The woman’s power is that she does not stick out her superiority, does not try to prove him at all costs. I often hear that it is important for a woman to be able to stand up for herself. Of course, this is necessary. But it is worth choosing a man from whom it will not be necessary to defend himself, who himself will become a defender. And some

first like “bad but funny guys”, and then they suffer from them. And therefore they are forced to be strong “.

Expert opinion: “Everyone has the right to weakness in relations”

Tatyana Mizinova, psychoanalyst

The answers of men are more about their own expectations in relations with women, which is confirmed or refuted by the phrase “the power of a woman in her weakness”. In the patriarchal world, where all leading positions were unconditionally occupied by men, female power was perceived as scandalous, unreasonable claims and violation of the usual foundations. The outer frame dictated the rules in which the woman was supposed to be passive, agreeing and supporting. It was important to be “married”. “Divorks, abandons, old virgins” stigmatized as women who failed to keep or win a man.

Both men and women have different attitudes on what relations should be. And often “weak women”, in the relationship with whom men feel superheroes, turn out to be just infantile. They see a parental object in the partner and do not know how to support it in a difficult situation.

“Strong” women scare, but also attract. Yes, often this is a matter of competition, disputes, difficulties with the separation of the usual roles inherited from our parents. But at the same time, this is a sense of support in a difficult situation and the possibility of divided responsibility.

I can not help but recall the phrase from the famous film: “What is strength, brother?” – “Power is in the truth”. And the truth is not to imitate weakness or strength, but to be yourself. It is impossible to deny that over the past 50 years the world has changed dramatically, and the relationship between a man and a woman has become more and more affiliate. Everyone has the right to weakness and at some points is forced to take on the role of a stronger, supporting partner.

The practice of the therapist shows that the main problems arise when partners are trying to comply with the imposed stereotypes, for example: “man – the head of the family”, “a woman should engage in children and home”. Following them, the couple comes into a dead end, which often leads to parting.

Women always had an unspoken advantage. Their weakness was traditionally approved, but men have no less need for care. It is enough to recall how most of them reacts to a temperature of 37.5. And then the woman’s strength in her inner resource, the ability to take care and reassure.

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